Grateful

Inside a cave I hide away in a state of hibernation
I lie stationary, wide awake; in violation
Of my impatience, I wait for the change in vibration
That signifies swings of tide in the basin
Of my relationship with civilization
I created this place; this is my station
And I can exchange it, like a fish’s migration
From glaciers to find nascent riverside locations
And this is why spaces I occupy go vacant
I traded my safety zone to stay locomotive
And I make the most of the way I chose to live
In this chaos; my brain is overloaded
But I remain devoted to the fate of a vocalist
Although I can’t say I made it alone as a soloist
I owe this to those who came and paid and voted
For me; ‘cause without you, I’d never get my shows promoted

So this is my attempt to start givin’ it back
To those who supported my decision to tap
Into this vision, this indigenous knack
For descriptive images and limitless adjectives
I know most of you probably don’t even listen to rap
But without you, I’d be on different track
I could’ve driven a cab or lived in a shack
In the woods, or even been to prison and back
I could’ve been an exact copy of America’s white
Middle class wannabe black stereotype
Or I could’ve just imitated one of my parents’ lives
And had the “junior” on my name parenthesized
Like one-tenth the size, but I’m aware inside
Of where my errand lies, and it’s got me terrified
‘Cause I’m like Shirzad in Arabian Nights
Beyond my narrative lies paradise

But I’m not a paralyzed nervous person
‘Cause your encouragement is my nourishment
I built this surrogate home and furnished it
With verses in the service of perfect workmanship
And I learned to curb this internal turbulence
When I heard your urgent nurturing whispers, and courage went
Surging through me, and I knew my purpose then
Was to work ten times harder to deserve every word of it
It makes me impervious to negative attitudes
And fills me with a sense of benevolent gratitude
Like: whatever you do now, I’ll never be mad at you
It takes absolute certainty to get Pegasus lassoed
And I have the aptitude and I’ll do what I have to do
To see the last of this Promethean task through
Even if that means feelin’ the wrath of Zeus
And whatever I make happen, I’m takin’ it back to you

April 2005

© Baba Brinkman



get pdf